I want to take a moment …. and explain what living with schizophrenia is like for me.
First of all not all schizophrenics hear voices or have harmful thoughts. Neither do we all live in a fantasy world.
More often than not I end up sleeping too much. Most days it is hard for me to even get out of bed. Some days I wake up feeling depressed for no reason. Mornings is when my depression is at its worst. I get up, take a shower, get dressed and take my medicine. If I do not have any morning plans I go back to bed for no longer than thirty minutes.
Then there are days when everything is normal. “Normal” people do not understand that this brain disorder affects my everyday life. I love to be around people but large crowds make me very uncomfortable.
I feel guilty for feeling so exhausted and depressed. I do not want to feel like this! I do not believe anyone does. I want to be productive. Take good care of myself. Be fully independent one day.
So do I just lie in bed all day? No! Well I mean for most days. About once a month I will allow myself to spend all day in bed with Bear if I really need it. Almost everyday there is something for me to do. My favorite thing to do is visit my friends. I enjoy going out to lunch. In my spare time you can find me either downtown, in an art gallery, or at the library. Sometimes I like to go shopping but I try to limit myself. I stay productive.
I am a functioning adult contributing to society. I volunteer at a nursing home. I help my friends in need. I pay my bills. I have dreams and goals but negative thoughts come in and tell me I can not achieve them.
This brain disorder makes my life extremely difficult but not impossible. I take my medications and get out of bed regardless of how I feel! It is a daily struggle but I am proof that people with brain disorders can lead a normal and productive life.